Shorts

Did I explain my attitude to shorts?
I hate them. Hate them. Hate them very much.
I hate them on the Belgians, or the Dutch.
I hate them in malls, in historic forts,
On dogs, on judges of our Supreme Courts,
Accompanied by music and a crutch,
I hate the way they hang, the way they touch
The half-uncovered thigh, by all reports.

Attempting not to look does me no good:
My brain cramps up and enters a deep freeze
While pondering eternal verities
Like why I hate shorts. Hate them. Understood?
There's always jokers in this neighbourhood
Expressing feelings by showing their knees.