Snake

I spent my whole allowance on a snake
Devoted to dispensing bad advice,
Insulting my companions, acting nice
When the police came by, which was so fake
Even the cops ignored it. On the make,
As hard as nails, three times as cold as ice,
Stranger than heaven, and sweet for a price,
My reptile never made any mistake.

Except, of course, in asking me for cash,
Which I was hoping would set us all free,
The money used to skate off happily
To other places. The snake chose to stash
New contraband, behind some fireplace ash,
To stick around, and sic the cops on me.