Alexanders

The telephone — invented the same year
That Alexander Pope swam fourteen miles
Across the English Channel, until fear
Made him desist (a fear of crocodiles) —
Was first supposed to serve only the poor,
Because the rich are never deaf to them,
But Alexander Graham Bell was dour
Among the rich, and overcome by phlegm.
All Alexanders, stretched and strained by fate,
Faced destiny with brainpans full of rocks:
I knew young Alexander, dubbed the Great,
And he was always stupid as an ox.
I give you facts, you know, nothing but facts,
The truth flowing like mighty cataracts.