Four Right Feet

Don't ask two men with four right feet
To play the fool, or jazz guitar.
Wherever all the bad girls are,
Don't ask them for a bit of meat.
They're beautiful, and they're discreet,
But they won't join you in your car
For artichokes straight from the jar
Or reckless acts under the sheet.

One man decides to dance a jig;
He's tall and handsome, wears pink lace
With frills set all around his face,
Wide pantaloons one size too big,
And paper worms leap from his wig.
Ask him for substance, not for grace.