Tuesday, December 26, 2017


We love the way you intimate despair
When anything goes wrong, or almost wrong.
The group to which you and your ilk belong
Are always looking for sackcloth to wear
And ashes to roll in. Life is unfair,
Hope can be weak, and healthy fear is strong,
So when you hear this unsavoury song
Don't think we're laughing only at your hair.

We're laughing at your house, your heart, your hats,
We're laughing at the way you brush your teeth,
Your choice of prayers, your shoes, your Christmas wreath,
Your ex-wife's name, and your domestic spats.
We all agree your belfry's full of bats,
Aware of all the darkness underneath.

Sunday, December 10, 2017

New Love

They like to call it deep thrombosis,
Yet I think it's something shiny,
Found on land, and on the briny.
People scared of halitosis
And arterial stenosis
Seem to get upset and whiny.
Spinal bifida? Think spiny;
Ponder new love and necrosis.

Eat an onion and a carrot,
March down Main Street when it's raining,
Pick up Great Danes without straining,
Spend two seasons in a garret,
Talk red fibres with a parrot,
Ride the wind, and stop complaining.